I am still me!
In June of 2001, I left my job as a Mathematics teacher after 8 years. I was 7 months pregnant with my first child. When I pulled out of the parking lot of Bloomfield High School I was so relieved that I would not have to go back into the classroom again. I was excited to stay home and raise my child. I did not care if it was a girl or a boy. I was just so thrilled to be a mom. I couldn’t wait to walk my child to school with all the other moms, go to soccer practice, swimming lessons, or whatever my child chose to do. I gave birth to my daughter Anna. It was stressful to be a stay-at-home mom but it was great too. I loved our alone time when she fell asleep in my arms. I loved that new baby smell.
Three years later, I gave birth to my second daughter, Emily. I was busy running around with two children. We had play-dates, music and dance class, and plenty of walks in the park. Over the years I was a class mom, HSA treasurer, and HSA President which filled my days along with after school activities. My daughter Emily was on a travel soccer team and on the weekends, we traveled throughout the state of NJ. I was exhausted but I loved every minute of it. My older daughter was a cheerleader so we spent Friday nights at the Football field.
It really went so fast. I blinked and where did the time go. I will always remember the day that the kids were both in school full time and I needed to do something for myself - like a job. My husband said to me, “Why don’t you take a year off and do some things for yourself and then start to look for something?” I agreed that it was a good idea. Do things for me? That would be weird. About 1 week later, I started having pelvic pain which led to a 5 year journey of healing. Now looking back there was a lot of fear regarding what I was going to do with my life. After my pain went down, I tried going back to teaching but I really did not like it. Things were not the same as they used to be. The technology was scary! I was petrified. I felt like I entered a time warp. I was a trained teacher. So if I was not going to go into teaching then what was I going to do.
It is pretty scary to try and reinvent yourself at 49 years old. Did I really want to invest financially in myself at a time when we needed money to send my kids to college. Would I be good at anything else? I cried a lot. My anxiety was through the roof. I was terrified. What if I failed? Little by little and step by step, I gathered evidence and did research on what would be right for me. I decided to become a Somatic therapist since somatic therapy was one of the modalities I used to get better. I also wanted to become a breathwork facilitator since that had a huge impact on my recovery. Well, I am doing it. I now have my own business and I am slowly building it.
What I realized is I really am not reinventing myself. Yes, I am changing a career but I am still me. I am strong, courageous, determined and motivated. I have love, kindness, and compassion to share. I have lessons to teach. These things are me. I didn’t have to reinvent who I was. I just needed to hone into the skills I already had. You will never go wrong when you know who you are and utilize your gifts. When you honor yourself with love, grace and faith, the opportunities will come.
